Thursday, August 30, 2012

Of Dents, Baggage, and Marriage.

Today is our 9 year wedding anniversary and now at the end of the day after we had a late dinner of Hibachi takeout, the Muses have my creativity flowing.  Yesterday I screened Cars2 with the little one and there's this scene with Mater.  He's confused as a spy and is given some equipment to disguise him as any kind of truck imaginable.  Problem is is won't work properly with his dent in his fender.  He refuses to fix the dent because each and every one is "valuable" because he got them hanging out with his best friend.

So here's the thing.  We all have dents.  We bring dents to the table and we get new ones along the way.  Another way to think of it is we all have baggage.  We all are cracked, broken, scarred, etc....  We have them, we earn new ones, and we even dish them out to others.  Simply, we aren't perfect.

Marriage isn't one of those journeys where you choose to embark because you hope the person you are with will change.  Bad news is that they are who they are and they're not changing.  That quirk that annoys you will continue to annoy you.  If you can't communicate now, you won't communicate later on.  If you don't like his/her personality, it's not going to change.  Good news is that they are who they are and they will change.  Well, not really change, but grow; and being married means that you are willing to grow and change with them.

More than nine years ago, I "met" my wife.  (We knew of each other prior, but we "met")  I became infatuated immediately.  The more I learned of the dents, fragments, and scars she brought to the table, the more the infatuation grew into love.  We created new dents with each other and decided that we would endure this journey together for the rest of our lives on this earth.  We make new dents all the time; and honestly, some of them hurt.  Here's the deal, she loves me for all my dents, all my brokenness, all my scars, new and old; and every day I look at her and think, "Let's do this again."

Candice, I'm not the best with words.  I'm worse with emotions.  I'm worst at putting them together.  Thank You for all the dents we've made together.  I love you much.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Without the valley, would you appreciate the mountain?

So, normally, we're a low-key family...even with a three year old.  This AM, we had a nuclear melt-down in Target.  She wants to push the "shoppy-cart" now.  No problem, but after not paying attention and bumping into the thirteenth end-cap, knocking stuff off, it was time to cut it out.  Yeah, we were "those people" in Target this morning, if you were there too.  Well, I apologize.  Then we hit up Trader Joe's, no problems through the store.  The cashier placed our box of nectarines on the bottom of the cart, which needs to be redesigned because right behind the Jeep box slides out, flips over, and the fruit is on the ground.  Awesome!  * begin sarcasm font* Thankfully the cart wrangler asked if he could take my cart.  Thank  you, but I did park next to the cart corral.  *end sarcasm font*  Not too bad, yet we had another meltdown at the County Clerk office.  No wait, not there long, but she decided to sit in the red chair when we were finished...and she dug her heels in about not leaving.  I actually found it quite comical looking in the other offices and seeing the "I hope they're not coming in here" looks on the employee's faces.

All that to say, it was a "difficult" morning in comparison to most of our mornings.  Things have moved in a positive direction (if you care).  I had help washing the Jeep, and had to help wash a tricycle and a princess bicycle.

But here's the sickeningly positive spin I'm putting on it today:  If these days didn't exist, would I appreciate the days where things went as smooth?  It's also like appreciating that full night of sleep you get after a long stint (or even one night) of not sleeping well.  So, even if your day is junk today, I'm not going to tell you to get over it, just remember on that good day where things are swimmingly, appreciate it.  Positive self-talk at it's best.  I hope your day is going well, if not, well, there's tomorrow.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

People and Life

This morning, I forced the little one to ride with me down the Greenway.  I enjoyed the almost crisp fall-is-on-its-way morning bike ride listening to Ms. AnnaB name every part of the Greenway after some area of the Island of Sodor.  We hit the park on the way back and after a few minutes a gentleman (grandfather) and his grand-daughter strolled up to play too.  I sat and began to talk with the man and found out that his kids were military and he convinced them to do grad-school at UTK so he and his wife could help watch the little ones.  Long story short, he said his life has been blessed and enriched beyond measure by being able to do this for his kids and spent his retirement years surrounded by his grands.  He made my wheels start spinning.

I spent most of 2011 wanting to go back to work.  Part of the reason is financial, part is me wanting to just work, and part is wanting to prep her for the world of school.  My wife keeps telling me that I'll never look back on this time and wish I had spent it different...and she's right.  I've done some jobs and thought, "Wow, what was I thinking?", but not this one.  I have the rest of my life to work.  Now that doesn't mean that I don't want to go back to work, I just don't want to "sell my soul" for something that is not fulfilling.

Thinking back on 2011 I also started thinking about the people I met within the past year.  I'm one of those "loner" friends (also read as bad friend).  This past weekend was the first time in 10 plus years that I had seen one of my very best friends from high-school...which was AWESOME by the way.  So I was re-acquainted with thankfulness for friends.  I would like to take a moment to publicly thank the people I met in Richmond, VA late 2010 to early 2012.  These friends were those who I knew for a few months, but came over on a triple digit heat day to load our belongings in a moving truck.  These friends were the one's who splurged on pizza for us instead of me splurging.  These friends selflessly moved heavy objects knowing that since we were moving to a different state, I couldn't repay the favor.  Thank you.  And that is a "thank you" that is two months overdue.

As I sit on my couch, watching Sid the Science Kid, and being fed raw carrots by a three year old; I want to be thankful for friends old and new, thankful for the fact that my wife has tirelessly carved a place for me to stay at home with the little bit, and try to remain thankful that when I don't get an interview/callback-that our family is being protected from something beyond my knowledge.

In the end, whether I've desperately searched for a job, or enjoyed time to nap daily and improve my culinary skills, I wouldn't change the time spent.  To be cliche today, Time is Love and I wouldn't have changed the time spent the past few years.