Crazy times?

Earlier today, I, without deep thought, posted "these are evil times" upon a friend's Facebook status.  Even though I claim to be deeply spiritual, I'm usually not prone to throw words which often have supernatural connotations around.  It's somewhat uncharacteristic.  So I thought about it.  Much of my thoughts today have been spurred with the news of a young high schooler in my hometown who took her own life earlier this week.  Vague news spread like wildfire through all of my, and my wife's connections back home.  Next thing we know there's an anti-bullying awareness march in her memory that garnered, according to the local paper "thousands" to march.  Yet, the head-line read:  "No link found between girl's death and bullying."  I don't believe it.  Grassroots movements don't begin and get thousands to follow without some foundation of truth.  When it starts from the ground up, there's a reason.  Evil times?

I'm not one of those who looks back at high school as "the best times of my life."  It was school.  It was mandatory, and at the end of the day, I was glad to go the Y for swim practice, teaching swim lessons, and lifeguard alongside people whom I consider the greatest friends cultivated.  School.  It's become one of those places where, as a parent, I don't look forward to sending my child.  I want her to have friends other than me, but to quote a good friend of mine:

we will be homeschooling...and yes, we will be sheltering them until we have trained them and they are ready to face the evil that is in the world. I refuse to throw my five year old into what Christian pastors have called a "war zone" and "a pagan culture." My five year old is not equipped or mature enough to make it in "the world." It is our job as her parents to shelter her. A friend told me last night, we all shelter our children, it's just a matter of how much we shelter them is different. We have an abundant amount of reasons why we are choosing to homeschool our children...but I know this, if I send them away for 8 hours a day, I can't protect them...their hearts, their minds, or their bodies. I saw a father of a child in Columbine take the blame for what happened to his son. Why? Because he sent his child there every day. He now homeschools his other children. We can't protect our children from God's providential plan for their lives, but we can ensure we don't purposely send them out there to learn how to deal with it before they are ready. Besides how can I train them in God's ways, "when we sit in our house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up," if they're never with us? Deuteronomy 6:7

School.  It's not a place that's safe.  It never was really.  I think we all come out of high school with various scars, but now we keep reading news report of kids getting bullied to death, teachers sexually assaulting kids, coaches practicing players to death, etc....  But this isn't all that's got me going this morning.  In a relatively small town close to the urban area where I live, not much makes the news...except in the past month:  one teenager killed over selling a dimebag of weed, twin 2 year olds killed by their dad (who then killed himself), another DV situation where a woman was killed.  Lest we forget the dad who killed himself and sons this past week in Washington, and the list grows and grows and grows.

As a parent, at least today, I'm struggling with how to protect my daughter long enough to equip her for this world...and how do you honestly equip someone for this world?  Half the time, I don't think I'm equipped for this world, and as of now, I feel I'm decently adjusted to my existence.  Well, if not, I at least haven't earned a diagnosis from the DSM-IV.

Virginia lawmaker: Children with disabilities are God’s punishment to women who previously had abortions.

This little jewel was discovered last night by my lovely wife.  She worked at a specialty Children's Hospital for approximately 3 years and upwards to 99% of her clientele were Children with disabilities.

So the gist is that Virginia Delegate Bob Marshall (R) said:

“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically.Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children...In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

Um...no.  Are you basing this on fact?  Can I see the study?  But what really gets my skin crawling is "there's a special punishment Christians would suggest."  Christians?  I'm Christian, and the characteristics of God post-Jesus doesn't point toward a vindictive, vengeful God.  Oh, there's Biblical evidence of God being this way, but at some point in time (approximately 2000ish years ago), God decided to rewrite the script by pouring himself into the vessel of Jesus, exemplifying love to all of humanity.  By the way, the OT scripture he's referring to is Exodus 13.11-16 and/or 22.29.

Point is, you shall "redeem" all your first-born, which essentially means, in regards to animals, you sacrifice a sheep for a firstborn donkey...in regards to people, well, you pay a sum to the priests at the temple....which none of this has to do with abortion, an increase in handicapped children, or "nature taking vengeance."  


Go away.  Oh, and if you're interested in learning more about this magnificent specimen of....  Here's his web-site complete with bio and contact information.

delegatebob.com/

Personal Salvation and the Kingdom of God.

I've been part of an interesting conversation on one my good friend's Facebook page regarding personal salvation and the Kingdom of God.  Essentially, my friend was eschewing the audacity of many folks who will make a statement such as, "If he/she were a 'real' Christian...."  and how arrogant that kind of statement makes.  (Another one that chaps my khakis is:  "I tell you out of Christian love...." which then somehow enables and excuses the person to be a complete jerk and hide behind their "faith".)

I made the comment that my salvation is between me and God, no one else.  Succinct but not entailing my complete developing theological perspective.  The discussion then entailed further how American society has placed an over-abundance upon personal salvation with the neglect of the community of faith and the Kingdom of God.  I'm of the opinion that salvation is still personal, and part of the "fruit" of personal salvation involves partaking in Kingdom of God and the ever-present community of faith.  There is the personal aspect and, to an extent, it should be tempered with the community and vice-versa.

Little Timmy Tebow

If you know me, you know I don't give a rip about football.  I wasn't a default TN fan b/c I'm native to the state, nor did I become a default Colts fan b/c of Peyton.  Either way, unless you've been under a rock, you know who Tim Tebow is and what "tebowing" means.  (yeah, I know I'm a bit late weighing in on the commentary, now that the furor/support has simmered down.)  At the very least Brother Tim has brought Christianity to the forefront of more people's minds than any Megachurch leader, academician, hate-filled protesting church, or end of world self-proclaimed prophet.  Whether you like the fact that he kneels down and prays or don't, you have an opinion about it; which I think is amazing for a kid who is just doing what is natural for him.  You may quote the Gospel of Matthew deriding him for not "praying in private."  You may hate that your football is now intertwined with conversations about God and religion.  Point is, with more and more pews empty on Sunday mornings, Tebow just brought his faith into the limelight.  I don't necessarily agree with all of his tenets, and really disagree with some of the arm-chair theology he has sparked, but in the end.  Tim has made us think about the nature of God, and how worshipping God, praying, and football relate to each other.

End of the year.

So, according to this, my last post was May.  Really?  May.  Either way.  I've been channeling my energy lately into simply spinning my wheels.  Time to regain some perspective and get back on track.  I decided a few months back that I wanted to go back to work.  50+ job apps later and clearly, my job is to be a stay at home father for a bit longer.  I've had some flip-flop about my feelings on this but reflecting on what I haven't missed out on with my daughter brings things back to what my wife and I feel is right for our family.

Aside:  If I were also at work, I wouldn't have been present to see the little one eat applesauce with her feet.  I would not have had the pleasure to ride through town and have Ms. Annabel say that three different statues were me.  (A.P. Hill:  daddy hat.  Jackson:  daddy-cow.  Columbus:  daddy-hair.  Both in the same day.  I get to take 90% of the blame for the potty-training.  I also get to know that I do my best to create a sanctuary for my wife to come home to after a day at work.

Honestly, I don't know what's in store for the Ratledge family in 2012, but I'd like to enjoy the ride this time instead of fret about "the next big thing" for me.  This is probably the most pointless blog-entry ever, yet I felt the urge to resurrect the life in this.  So there you go, another cup of Joeseph.

Daddy Day at the Mall

Today was Daddy-Day care day at the mall and men who looked completed awkward with one, two, and even three children in tow found solidarity with other men whom they perceived to be just as uncomfortable.  Smiles, nods, "how are you's" were the norm.  I, however, must have had the look on my face that this is not uncomfortable or awkward or I just sent out a vibe where other fathers with children wanted to sit near me in the play section.  Anti-social I felt, but when one man turned to me to talk, I took my gaze from our child, smiled and prepared myself to talk about the NBA play-offs, "gittin' Osammy been layden", the economy, or fuel prices...instead I was pleasantly surprised with, "I think Ian and Kathleen like playing with your daughter.  How old is she?"  Wow, normal parental talk, which I actually welcomed.  


"Two on the seventeenth, what about yours?"


"She is four and he'll be two in September, we're working on sharing on the slide." 


Also pleasantly surprised, Ian was doing his best to turn around on the slide, while Annabel patiently waited.  After they both went down without incident, four year old Kathleen ran up to Anna and said, "Let's play Tag!"  Anna promptly reached out, touched her hand, yelled "taaaaaaa-eeee" then ran away with Kathleen following.  


I let Ms. Annabel play for a bit, but knew we were short on time.  (Being ever prepared, I left her sippy on the counter at home and it was getting close to lunch time.)  I did, however, feel that she would have thought I was being torturous for bringing her to the mall and not let her play in the kids area.  So, let's play!  A few minutes later, it was really time to head home. I scooped her up, telling her it was time to go home and eat.  "EAT!" she yelled.  The nuclear meltdown I was expecting was diverted, so I prompted her to tell her new friends "bye."  "BYE!"  This was uttered with so much intensity that Kelly Clarkson was briefly drowned out and a brief echo was heard resonating throughout the nearly deserted space.  Kathleen, Ian, their father, and the two newly arrived families all paused and provided a collective "bye" as we made our way out of the play area, past the shoe store, the freshly baked cinnamon buns, and through Macy's.  As I was leaving the Route 1 exit of Macy's, I passed another dad with his kids with a look of sheer terror on his face...that look that expresses his complete shock at entering a public space with both kids and no spouse in sight.  I smiled, greeted him and wished he had a great morning out with the kids.

Social Media and Youth Ministry

Yesterday on Youth Worker Journal's website there was an article discussing youth ministry and social media.  (Whole article here:  http://ht.ly/3TRe5)  I found this article interesting for the fact that, being the true fence sitter that I am, I agree and disagree with all four of the interviewees.  So here's my take for the 3 of you who follow and might read.  Well, it's really for me to organize my thoughts for my ministry.  I am really only going to talk about two of the four, but that's not important anyway.

The first person, and I really like what this guy says, but we're not seeing things eye to eye, is:  Mark Bauerlein, an English professor at Emory University.  Dr. Bauerlein prohibits his students from using the internet for research.  I get it, we need to know how to use the library, journals, etc....  His take is that social media cripples social interactions.  Well, it does.  He speaks about how communicating is not just words, but tone, inflection, body language, all of it.  He's right.  There is so much that can be lost in candid conversation when it is posted through tweets, wall up-dates, texts, and blogs.  How many of us have said something in jest in an e-mail or wall update and it really, really backfired.  Meaning was misconstrued.  Communicating accurately failed.  I think, that in the end, his take was that technology isolates us and cripples our social interactions.  Once again, he's right, there's all kinds of research studies that prove his point.  


Now, for the other guy I liked from the article, his name is Adam McLane.  He is now Youth Specialties' technology guy' and he spends his days immersed in the digital world, helping youth workers find community there.  As you may be able to guess, he is a fan of technology.  His take for youth ministry is that utilizing tech and social media is the current "getting in the trenches" form of ministry, meeting them where they are.  There's not much more for me to comment on him, so I'm going to move to my blending and my $0.02.


Youth ministry should incorporate both schools of thought.  I remember when my sister and I were teenagers, we communicated via phone.  That's it.  Phone, and usually there was a cord attached to it too.  This form of communication was effective, while not seeing a person, tone and inflection were not lost through the phone.  This kind of conversation did not lend itself to the openness that Facebook can provide.  Let me digress for a second.  I have Facebook, my youth group has a group page, most of my folks have a profile.  All of my group texts.  All e-mail, but many of them rarely.  You get the picture.  If I post something on my profile, or on the group page, it invites others to join the conversation, even if it is a "like."  I can jump online and see what someone posted about their Friday night and can comment.  The last time I was a youth pastor, this wasn't so.  Adolescents are more selective about what is shared vocally than electronically.  Therefore, I feel like I can get to know someone more personal this way.  I think I just heard some of your minds coming to a screeching halt.  Yep, I can get to know some of my youth more personally through facebook, but that does not say I have a deeper spiritual relationship with them.  This is the point where the kill switch on the phone, computer, ipad, whatever gets flipped.


Communicating "in the trenches" per se, is not relationship building, and for a meaningful youth ministry for youth, relationships are essential.  Therefore, meetings, small groups, church, concerts, lock-ins, retreats, and mission trips become the life blood of turning the knowing of "stuff" about people via electronic communications into meaningful relationships.  Communicating in the trenches gets the information out to the youth in the way they will see it, read it, hear it, and respond to it.


I guess all of this is to say that social media has slowly become a way of life for a lot of us.  We keep up with old friends, we miscommunicate through written word and have to make a phone call to fix it, we stay on top of our friends' lives outside of school/work.  We communicate with it, yet it doesn't build relationships as real life interactions do.  So, embrace the technology.  Ministry can function without it, relationship can be built without it, but embracing today's technological culture appropriately can definitely be used in ministry. 


Also used appropriately, social media is a way for us to be "in the world and not of it."  


"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2.15-17


"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12.2 NLT